Good for her

Have you ever found yourself scrolling your News Feed only to see the words “I’m so happy to announce…” and your automatic reaction is an eye roll? Or a look of disgust?

We’ve all been there.

I recently met a new group of friends as part of the Pittsburgh Feminist Book Club, which I shamelessly invited myself to via Twitter. My first meeting (the group’s third) was for the discussion of Amy’s book Yes Please.

Overall, I thought the book was great. Not the greatest book I’ve ever read, but as an Amy/SNL/Parks and Recreation fan, it had plenty of fodder and stories for me.

My favorite quote from the book, and one I discussed with my new friends at the PFBC was, “Good for her, not for me.” As a woman in a very different stage in my life than many of my friends, this little knowledge nugget (is that weird?) really resonates.

Women are raised to see each other as competition. I fall into this trap sometimes, but it’s such crap. In the workplace a bit of jealousy and comparison can motivate us. Outside in the real world, it’s a toxic move. Looking at another woman’s life and thinking, “gosh, I wish I had that” only makes us forget about what we’ve got. And chances are what we’ve got is pretty good.

That’s why I love Amy’s quote. I’m friends with some pretty remarkable women, so good things come up in my News Feed a lot. But my friends have all taken different paths since our college (or high school) days, and that’s okay. Their happy announcements wouldn’t fit into my life right now, and vice versa.

So next time you’re scrolling Facebook and see an announcement post, just remember: that new job/boyfriend/wedding/baby is good for her, not for me.